Mentor
mathiasthom
He's addicted to pain,
or is it the gifts from his grandmother
handed to him outright,
maybe stolen from her purse?

He's too young to be this strung out
about to lose his kitchen job
can't afford these truck payments
maybe living beyond his means?

Only 19, with that cocky attitude
always something to prove
sometimes one has to lose
to rebuild and start over again

Maybe hitting rock bottom
Is a predetermined fate
and maybe this is natures way
of wiping clean the slate

Trying to be the voice of reason
mentoring the unwillingly stubborn
banging that head up against the wall
he'll rise again, after some great fall

mathiasthom
written 9/20/16

(no subject)
mathiasthom


Smile
mathiasthom


Not Your Cover
mathiasthom

Please don't push her in front of you,
for she has no idea of the drama
you'll willingly put her through,
Just to deflect any eventuality

Trust me, the real world trickles through
any barriers, go around, go underground
pull the wool over her eyes,
until that final day, when she will recognize

This is not the life for her
eyes finally focusing,
this state of half-life,
where all fabrication dies

All that sweet talk
leaving the taste of chalk
in her dry mouth,
like the crackle of Autumn's skin

And that knowing numbness
left out in the cold of December,
like frozen breath, a little death
some tragic end, all alone again

She's not your cover
while you stalk in the shade
with haphazard plans that you've recently made,
only the unaware are so truly brave

You coward, and cower
lost in the hurt you'll soon discover
misery seeks like minded souls,
one day you"ll be utterly forgotten and old

mathiasthom
written 8/11/16


A Common View
mathiasthom

Waiting for the one to call
Does he remember me at all
How I rise, to only fall
On this occasion, without elation

No, there is no relationship
no common bond
the way I follow him through the yard
to end up face down in some brackish pond

So sound the alarm
unstable enough to do me harm
On enough pills to make a doctor ill,
arms folded tightly on the window sill

How do I take this?
how do I fake this?
and you, gentle reader
seem to be a bottom feeder

No responses, up on the fence
maybe it's just indifference
there is a common view,
lost to the likes of me and you

mathiasthom
written 8/8/16


Rejection
mathiasthom

There was mutual attraction
and a haphazard stab at affection
obligatory words were exchanged,
until he pegged me as strange

Thank you for the vote of confidence,
knowing you felt the same
the same feelings and contradictions,
longings too intense to be sane

Hey, there's a full moon tonight
and I dance alone into this night
since we tend to always hide away,
these intensified feelings in the light of day

So sip that alcohol
maybe choke on a cigarette
drink yourself into Oblivion
to a world longing with regret

mathiasthom
written 8/3/16


Infatuated with a 20 year old
mathiasthom

The torch has been passed,
so to speak
Hunger has awakened
much to my disbelief

Now still very much a boy
trapped in the physique of a man
what is the age of consent?
and do I really give a damn?

Slipping away,
to another time and place
to a smiling face,
thought had been permanently displaced

This crush is rendered painful,
proving I'm still very much alive
taking a mere 6 long years,
how did I ever survive?

mathiasthom
written 8/2/16


Just me...
mathiasthom

Starting to feel human again...


(no subject)
mathiasthom

Fuck writers block. Fuck depression. Fuck you. That about sums it up...


Resurrected
mathiasthom
Though it's been awhile
really had nothing to smile about
every day is up and down
wading through self doubt

And the pity train has derailed again
the words you spew
are never about you
crazy world is fractured, then

So pause for dramatic effect
go off the deep end to honestly reflect
praying for an early death,
sometimes being alone is all that's left

This broken world will fester and reel
inhabitated by creatures who never conceal
everything left in the open to pry
for idle hands to give it a try

Though it's been awhile
have nothing to say
indifference and flat line feelings
resurrected this way

mathiasthom
written 3/21/16

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